“4 am” by Kaskade was playing in the radio.
It alluded so many memories from seven years ago.
She remembers how far she’s come.
Past loves, past life, past memories were all behind her.
She’s finally reached the temple.
On top of the mountain, she looks on to the sunrise and sings,
Dreams are shining.
Finally they’re within reach.
I was inspired to write this post when I heard Katy Perry’s latest song:
I used to be very insecure with what I looked and how I dressed. My self-esteem was one of the reasons why my 3-year relationship with my ex boyfriend ended. It was in fact the root of it. However, for every bad thing that happened good things comes in the end. If I didn’t break away from that relationship, I would have never learned to love myself and I never would have learned to stand on my own feet.
Looking back, I truly hated myself. But nowadays, I feel rather… vain.
Learning to appreciate myself took a lot of effort. Forgiving myself was the first and most hardest thing I’ve done. It’s hard to stop blaming myself when there is no thing or no one to blame, but every small effort counts. I used to say “I’m so stupid,” “I hate myself for…” but then when I caught myself saying those things, I began to think… “Oh it’s okay Khristine, shit like that happens. You’re not perfect and at least you’ve learned.” It was tough to forgive myself, but it was worth it.
It’s true what they say, when you start falling for yourself, the rest starts falling for you. I love making myself happy with what I wear and what I eat. I’ve lost 10 pounds from my 3- year break up and I feel completely free, happy and most of all, I feel so loved by so many. I am confident to wear skimpy dresses and shorts, which I have never imagined myself wearing them. Ever. And guess what happened… guys started noticing me.
I learned that many people will never like me and so much more people will love me if I continue to be myself. And that is important… to be true to one’s self and be true to others. I’d rather show my true colors to people than to disappoint them in the end with a facade. The most important thing is to love ourselves because we are built as a temple… as a place for us to explore and to love.
If you can’t love yourself, then you don’t deserved to be loved at all. I didn’t trust myself back then and in turn, I never trusted the people around me. I questioned everyone to the point where most of them would get extremely annoyed.
“Do I look fat?”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes, I do… oh my god, I look so fat don’t I?!”
“I told you, you don’t look fat.”
Now tell me, who would want to have a girlfriend like that? I realized that whether I may seem fat or skinny, a guy will fall for me for who I am and he see my beauty beyond what I can see. Besides, his opinion matters because he’s the one who see the beauty that no one else can see.
“Baby you are a firework , come on let your colors burst.” We are unique in every way. We have to remember that we are all special in our unique ways… no one can ever copy YOU. We have our own colors, our own kind of firework… it’s what makes someone fall for us. They see that unique speck that rarely and most few of us can see. So let that light ignite inside you and you’ll be surprised who will notice your fire 🙂
So let’s take this time- when you read this post- to spoil yourself for once. Don’t think about everyone but yourself at this moment. Contemplate on yourself. Let YOURSELF be your priority within the next 60 minutes or so. Look at yourself in the mirror and reflect… tell yourself that you are unique and that you are the only one who can make yourself shine.
And for those of you who are beginning a journey to love yourself, in the end you’ll find yourself saying the very same thing I said to myself:
The greatest love I’ve ever had is learning to love myself.
iloveME. 