Loner

I’m so used to being a loner for quite some time now that I despise being in a crowd for more than an hour.

I’m so used to being a loner that when I have problems, instead of sharing it with a friend, I seclude myself in my own retreat or spill it out through WordPress.

I’m so used to being a loner that I don’t care if I lose a friend, gain a friend, lose a friend, gain a friend, etc.

I’m so used to being a loner that I became distrustful of people and their ulterior motives.

I’m so used to being a loner that I’ve closed my real self from the face of the world and only show it to those who truly know me.

I’m so used to being a loner that I appreciate my own solitude and despise people prying on my personal business.

I’m so used to being a loner that it has to be in the perfect mood and the perfect timing for me to go out.

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5 thoughts on “Loner

  1. Ditto! Sometimes it is hard to find the right balance so you can be happy. I love my alone time, but at times I got very lost in loneliness and a weird place not of this world, mind and body separated…It’s good to have those few close people who won’t get you get lost. xoxo

    • That’s very true! Too much of both sides can be overwhelming! Sometimes, when I’m around too many people, I get deprived of my alone time. And when I shut myself off from anybody, I do get lost in my loneliness. I’m glad I don’t feel alone! Funny how we are somewhat similar!

  2. I know! Perhaps many people feel like that but few talk about it or even realize it. We are lucky that we know it, so we can plan to have alone time to recharge and choose when to socialize. I am now thinking that it might be a good idea to let someone close know about the signs of us getting lost so they can help us, or gently remind us, you know what I mean?

    • I think the hardest part of telling someone about depression is being able to trust anyone. I think the biggest thing that keeps me from sharing is trust.

      • Yes. Also when I am surrounded by darkness, even people who might try to reach me, I shun them away, as if I want to stay there and wallow…It is like a strong magnetic pull that wants to keep you there and you can’t see clearly.
        If there was such a person who could help then they should be aware of this too and not give up if you try to push them away. xx

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