Hello Insomnia, we meet again.
It’s 2: 36 am and I have been awake- stalking people in Facebook, desperately trying to message old friends who have rotted in my “To Talk” list. Six hours ago, I had a mental breakdown inside Ricky’s car because I was crying for new friends, new routine, new places to eat, new things to do, basically… something different and “new.” I got pissed off over a small thing like a sandwich that Ricky thought was “bad” (as in spoiled) because it had been sitting in the car for 6 hours… I mean come on, there are so many people who can’t eat and he was going to throw that away? It really was a waste.
I don’t know why I was so pent up with so much emotions. I don’t know if it was the fullness of the moon since I seem to always turn into a moody b*tch (a friend called me a werewolf!) or that I was so emotionally stressed out that I had to basically breakdown in tears. Running in the gym didn’t help since I started looking at the people as if they were hamsters running in elliptical machines.
It was a really crazy day.
And now, I find myself unable to sleep when I need to wake up early so I can start my day right.
Not long ago, I was apologizing to old friends for being MIA and thanking them for their existence in Facebook (I’m losing it). My goal was to message all 170 friends, but you know, as I looked through my friend’s list, I started telling myself,
“Oh God, I’m not talking to her, she’s a c*nt.”
“Hell to the no that I’m hitting him up! He’ll think I’m interested in him.”
“Why am I friends with these people? I don’t even like them.”
As much as I dreaded the idea of messaging all 170 friends, I gave up and chose the ones that matter. The ones who deserve an apology from me, like my sister in Singapore whom I haven’t seen or talked to in awhile because I was too busy being a selfish teenager – “back in the day.”
Anyways, I really don’t know what I’m talking about in this post. I feel like my logical balance has gone astray, an aura is overwhelmingly making me moody and I feel more confused over the littlest things. Just in case you are wondering, it’s not PMS-ing. I just had my monthly dues! So yeah… I think my body’s a bit in tuned with nature lately: if it’s cloudy, expect me to be in a really bad and lazy mood and if it’s sunny, expect me to be so happy and with so much energy. I must be mother nature’s manifestation. (#BULL_CRAP)
Okay… I think I need to hit the bed.
Night. I meant, morning.