My life is pretty boring right now.
I’m turning 23 soon and I’m looking back to the time when I was (younger) partying (hard-er) and socializing with people who were willing to have a great time. I was a sad drunk who made everyone chase after me before I get to my car, a drama queen who grieves over her ex boyfriends and according to Ricky, I had this energy that attracts people to me (aka center of attention?).
I love to socialize with people no matter how silly, miserable or fake they all seemed. I didn’t care. I wanted to have fun and I wanted to be around the people who were full of energy because in my head, they were all in my sick- imaginative- reality drama series. I was the mastermind and they were my puppets.
I was a slimy girl who plotted on drama that would infuse the night more interestingly. I would go to parties where my enemies had no idea that I was going to. I enjoyed my time and I ignored their presence. Once, I even invited a friends-with-benefits guy in one of my birthdays where my ex-boyfriend was at the same time. The night didn’t end well since a friend of his and my ex-bf started fighting. I thought that was interesting. There were also a couple of nights when I literally made myself drunk to the point where I’ve stopped everyone from drinking and gave drunk speeches and got carried to the car because I passed out-drunk. Then there was a night when I pulled out a knife to someone (jokingly) because I thought she was flirting with an ex boyfriend. I know, I was wild and crazy! However, I don’t regret any of those because I see them as fun (sick) memories. They are memories who defined who I am today:
A mature young lady, who no longer cries over her ex boyfriends, no longer gives drunk speeches and no longer passes out drunk without having a fit with someone.
Although it seems like it’s all a great ending to a post-teenage coming of age story, it isn’t.
I miss those days. Why?
It’s because, lately, I’ve been stuck doing these:
I hate boring hang outs where you’re only sitting in front of a table playing ‘Kings,’ just because it’s the only thing that could spark amusement and that would make the night easier to drink away the boredom. Swear, most of my nights are like that now… it’s either I get stuck with guys chatting about girls or sports or with people who rely on Kings just to have fun. I’m honestly bored with that.
I’m craving for a bit of drama, something crazy and wild to talk about. It seems that lately, I’ve been in my nice lady shoes and not so much in my crazy, wild stilettos. I’ve restrained myself from hanging out with people who has so much drama. When in fact, I’ve previously complained about getting sick of people with their drama and their BS and now I want them back in my life. ISN’T THAT CRAZY?
I erased people in my life and now I want them back to leech the living hell out of me. I don’t know about you, but I like drama in my life right now. I miss having some kind of climax or some kind of socializing with different people other than the ones who I’m usually hanging out with. I don’t know if I miss having to deal with drama but I think what I really miss is hanging out with different people.
So now, I was thinking of hitting up some old friends (whom I’ve deleted in Facebook) and some old ones that were just laying around. I want some company and it’s going to be warm pretty soon so I’m hoping for backyard and house parties more often, since it’s really that time of the year to get out there and socialize.
I wish that I won’t regret this in the end, but you know what they always say, “Be careful what you wish for because you might not like it.”