Day 21: Cupid missed!

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[Image taken]

I’m in a relationship and I hate this day.

I don’t feel all lovey-dovey on this beautiful Thursday morning.

I don’t feel excited about Valentine’s day even though I’m in a relationship! As a matter of fact, it seemed that this V-day is almost like any other V-day I’ve had in the past: it really is just a regular day.

Well, in the first place, I wanted to make this day a bit sweeter than usual. I was in my romantic mood last Tuesday and I wanted to surprise my boyfriend with “stuff,” but last night’s fiasco changed my mind.

Looking back at the previous Valentine’s day over the years made me wonder,

I’ve never had a decent Valentine’s day that made me all lovey-dovey inside. I don’t recall having one. Oh, that’s because… I NEVER HAD ONE.

Let’s have a quick look on the V-days I can remember (the rest are a blur):

V-day 2009: 

I was dating Dave back then and he took me out to this restaurant called “The Chart House.” From what I remember, that restaurant was so expensive that he and I shared a plate. Well, he mostly ordered expensive drinks for appetizer (and for himself) and was bragging how he could afford that restaurant. He was very talkative and he was highly pretentious to the waiter. That was the first ‘legit’ date he took me after dating him for almost 3 years. He could have at least put some effort…

Expectation: I would be able to enjoy a full-course meal without sharing a plate with him. However, I came out of that restaurant, still a tad hungry.

What went wrong: I didn’t get to enjoy the food, I didn’t enjoy those expensive drinks he ordered for himself and he was getting on my nerves. Oh yeah, we shared a plate! We could of went to a much cheaper restaurant!

V-day 2010:

I had a date with a then 29-year-old guy I met online. We had a lunch date at “Big Bowl” and we didn’t share a plate 🙂 ! He even gave me a Starbucks gift card which I thought was very sweet. He complained that he had to drive an hour to get there (which he exaggerated) and that he had to be somewhere. I guess he had another date. I felt very insecure because of the fact that I could not drink (I was 20!) and my God, I felt naive! I knew that we were only messing around and that there’s no strings attached. However, I felt completely uneasy with him that time because I somehow knew that our little fling was ending it’s course that day.

Expectation: He was a nice guy. I thought it would have been romantic if he stayed and we went ice-skating, but he didn’t like it so he had to drop me off home after lunch.

Why it sucked: We didn’t feel comfortable around each other. The attraction was fake. He was my rebound! I was so young, fresh out- of- a- break-up and I had no experience. After that day, we never saw each other again.

V-day 2011:

I was in a relationship with Dimitry, a military guy who had to be away for a mission on V-day. I remember signing up to work on that day since I didn’t have a date. However, when Dimitry told me that the mission was cancelled, I got annoyed. Okay, sure it’s not his fault because it’s the military. But it annoyed me that even if it was cancelled and I knew about it, I couldn’t spend it with him because he will need to sleep really early that night. Either way, we can’t have a decent V-day. So,I decided to get a few drinks with my working buddies after work. All the horny singles gathered together, but of course, I went home straight!

My expected date: I wanted to take him to the restaurant where I was working at. I wanted to eat a decent dinner with him. Too bad it didn’t happen. His loss.

Why it sucked: I was dating a military man who was busy. After that day, I realized that I could not be a military gf. It’s not my thing.

V-day 2012:

Last year, Ricky and I started dating. We were “fresh- lovers.” I remember skipping school that day because I wanted to spend it with him. Unfortunately, since I planned to skip school at the last minute, Ricky and his sister planned on going to Richmond so she can take pictures. Alright, cool. I can spend V-day with Ricky and his sister. It was nice to walk around Richmond for sure, but I didn’t like that his sister kinda ruined the nice places that I thought was pretty. For instance, we went to this park and she thought it was ugly and she was starting to whine because it didn’t “wow” her. It’s winter, of course there’s nothing. The trees are dead and it’s cloudy as hell. Of course it’s ugly; make the most of it! So, Ricky had to suggest several places so she could take some nice pictures. I felt like I was spending Valentine’s day dictated by a military officer: “This place is scary, not here. This place is ugly, there’s nothing here. “This place is ghetto, definitely not here.”

In hopes to enlighten that day, as soon as we got back from Richmond, I suggested to Ricky that it would be nice if they bought their mom flowers and a card since she baked a cake for them. I suggested that in hopes that Ricky could buy me some flowers, or write me a card or buy me a piece of chocolate which would let me know that despite spending V-day with his sister, he still remembers me in some way. But, I expected too much!

Expectation: Since I’m finally spending that day with Ricky, I wanted a card from him that day or something surprisingly sweet. I wouldn’t even mind if it was only a bar of KitKat chocolate. I didn’t get anything though.

Why it didn’t make me melt: It wasn’t a Valentine’s date. It was a hang out with his sister and a field trip to Richmond.

V-day 2013:

Ricky has school and work the entire day today so there’s no V-day date for sure. I wanted to do a little- something- something for him, but eh… I’m simply not in the mood.

Expectation: He would leave a small note or a bar of chocolate on my windshield. So far, nothing.

Why it sucked: Read previous post. I don’t feel all lovey-dovey.

After what I’ve experienced for the last five years, I decided not to expect anything on Valentine’s day and treat it like any other day. Heck, I’d celebrate it like any other single people in the world: ignore it, do something for myself or do something for people that matter to me more than the current lovers I’m with.

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[Image taken]

No matter how much I want to feel “the love”, I couldn’t. Cupid’s arrow missed me again this time and he sure suck at it because I’m already in a relationship and I don’t feel the amour/ amor/ amore on this day.

I do feel like giving something for my mom… like a bouquet of roses since my dad isn’t here to give that to her. Maybe some pho too because she’s sick. I should give a small bear or Reese’s cupcake to my brother because I know he misses his gf, so he deserves a little love from his sis. I should probably give my sister something because she’s been an awesome sister and I love her so much!  Typing all these makes me teary-eyed. Somehow, I feel that my heart is racing a bit faster and I feel inspired. Maybe Cupid’s bow didn’t miss me completely.

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2 thoughts on “Day 21: Cupid missed!

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