Day 14: Don’t let time pass you by.

I never considered myself as the loyal, well-mannered and kind daughter to my parents.

I mean, yes I do what they asked me to do (most of the time), but I feel like I haven’t given them enough love, respect and time. Recently, I feel like I have to hold onto my parents as if I’m going to lose them tomorrow. I thought I’d deal with that feeling when I grow older, but somehow, I’m dealing with it right now.

Image

[Image taken]

Ever since my grand mom (mother’s mom) died last year and my grand pa (father’s dad) is currently suffering from terminal cancer, I have been thinking a lot about death. Death is unavoidable and we all go through it, but it’s scary. It’s scary to think that the people you once spent time with can easily be taken away by death. It’s scary that as time goes by and for every one additional candle you blow out on your birthday cake, there is someone (or a few) you care the most (or less), who die within that year. As you grow older, the people you know slowly disappear. It’s even scarier to put yourself in your parent’s shoes and feel that utter pain of loss.

Recently, I’ve been feeling a lot more emotional and more sensitive to my parent’s feelings. They don’t show it much, but I know they are scared and are still in denial that their parents are either dying or already dead. I think it’s harder for me to accept the concept of death, maybe because I haven’t been living life to the fullest. But with the thought of growing older, my parents becoming weaker, it pains me to see that future when I’m in the exact shoes that my parents are in right now. I don’t think I’m ready to lose my parents. I’m not. I really AM NOT!

Today, my father went back to the Philippines for a month to spend it with his dad. I honestly feel very scared that tomorrow might take away my father (KNOCKS ON WOOD) and I would be thousands of miles away from him. Before he left, I kissed his cheek more than I used to and hugged him tighter. I told him to come home as fast as he can and to take care of himself. I don’t want to lose any of parents right now. I am not ready. I AM NOT.

Last weekend was Ricky and I’s anniversary and we both spent it together. I partially regret that I could have spent it with my dad, my mom and my brother but I didn’t. I felt like I spent less time with them and I haven’t been putting that much effort. This feeling sickens me.

I feel like numbing myself with vanity obsessions like watching make-up videos and reading fashion blogs to distract myself from reality, but it gets worse. I started to think that people are so caught up with materialistic needs that they let time pass so easily. They embrace their own vanity on superficial things and pride themselves above others and they don’t realize that there is nothing important in life than the love that you obtain from your family and your loved once. Sadly, I’m one of them. We pay so much attention to iPhones, e-mails, work schedules and designer clothing when we couldn’t even sit and write a nice hand written letter to our loved ones. Life is too precious to let it pass away with things that don’t last you a lifetime.

Life is truly short. Time passes by so quickly. You only live once and you only die once.

Love the people who stood by with you the most.

Above all things,

Thank your parents for all they’ve done. Without them, 

You wouldn’t be here reading this post.

As one year adds to my age, another year is slowly being taken from my parents.

I won’t let time take away anything from me without cherishing every second of it. From now on, I’m going to try my best and spend more time with my family. Friends can wait. Family matters.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Day 14: Don’t let time pass you by.

  1. This is all so true. My father, a very healthy, happy and cautious 61 year-old man suddenly and unexpectedly passed away this January. Life truly is a special gift, and it is SO important to honor those you love while you are with them.

    • Wow… unexpectedly? That’s very shocking. I’m sorry about your dad though. I really hope that you and your family are coping well. Life is truly a special gift and I agree with you. I know somewhere out there in heaven, he is happy and wishes all of you to be happy as well.

  2. Thanks for liking my post. 🙂 And thanks for your honesty… These are good thoughts. I’m sure your folks are grateful to have you be so thoughtful! The Lord wants you to be encouraged, not discouraged, scared, or worried–when that time does come, He will be with you to walk you through it. It’s not easy, but you can trust that He knows best and has a plan in it all. His peace transcends understanding! Now and anytime in our lives! 🙂

    • Thank you for reading my post! I agree with you completely… He has plans for everyone and has reasons why things happen the way they are. Also, I’m grateful that I still have time to cherish my parents and is able to realize their importance before it was too late. I know I will face it all someday, but hopefully, God will help me be more stronger and be more accepting of having a loss. I know it will be a challenge, but that’s how life works. Again, thank you for your encouraging comment!

  3. This is so scary but so real, Khristine. I know exactly how you feel. My family has had quite a few health scares the past two year. My parents are really getting up there in age and despite leading very active and relatively healthy life styles, they’re not immune to the aches and pains of old age. It scares me a lot because I’m still dependent on them – quite heavily from certain viewpoints – and I’m not ready to lose them either. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready though.

    Good job writing on such a real, raw topic. You brought the emotion out perfectly and made it human – not recited or robotic.

    Thanks for this.

  4. Thank you so much Heather for reading my post!!! I woke up feeling really heavy with so much emotion that I thought it would be best to let it all out here. Anyways, I totally feel you and I think I’m very dependent with my parents as well. They are both my best friend and my teacher and I don’t think I’m ready to face the world without their knowledge on things. And yes, even if I grow older and have my own family, I,too, will never be ready. I think the best way we can be ready is to simply cherish each day with them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s