And to think Ricky and I were done, we’re not. Okay, I didn’t say that in a bad way!!! But… I think I need to repair the damages I created… such as telling everyone in my Facebook, my friends and my family that he and I broke up. Oh boy, I wish I could have just kept it all into myself, but I’m a girl. I let it out by opening my mouth! Anyways, you’re probably wondering, what happened? What changed it all when it seemed like there’s no hope?
Well… let’s just say, my heart was giving off signs and that a friend blogger, Fawn, was the final topping to finally giving Ricky a chance to hear his side.
Yesterday, I was set to move on. I was set to study alone and I was going to put myself into the single zone. But it didn’t feel right somehow. I started reminiscing the fun times Ricky and I enjoyed. I remember the reason why I fell for him and why I took all my walls down for him: it’s because I love the fact that I can be myself around him. I can be goofy and stupid together with him and it was just funny and perfect. We made each other laugh over the littlest things. I love the fact that I could listen to oldies jazz with him and listen to live performances without having to think “Oh my gosh, he might not like it… blah blah blah.” I love that I could tell him my frustrations about people’s stupidity because I know he shares the same thing. I love that I could tell him nerdy things I’ve learned in class because my degree and his correlates with one another. I love that he’s nice, gentle, sensitive and most of all, I love that he’ll do anything to cheer me up.
In addition to reminiscing, I started seeing things that reminded me of him. I saw shirts and bumper stickers from the previous university he attended. It felt like everywhere I go, everything reminded me of him. And then, I was sitting on my laptop, looking through my favorite reads and there it is… Fawn’s blog.
This quote from Bob Marley that she posted, totally hit me.
I started tearing up when I read this. My heart was beating so fast, I could no longer sit on the chair at Panera. I had to leave… I had to patch things up with Ricky even if I initiate it. I have to hear his side on this. I have to hear Ricky before we lose each other completely. I have to take back the person who makes me laugh and the person who makes me strong.
I searched for my phone frantically and I was starting to get pissed off because when I need something, it doesn’t show up. Is this another sign? Not to talk to him? But I had to… I really did.
We went to a place… somewhere where we could talk. I saw the Ricky I know… he was calm yet nervous. He teared up when I repeated Bob Marley’s quote. I think in that moment, I realized, Ricky isn’t perfect. He doesn’t have all the time in the world, but he makes the most of it – with me. He strives hard because “I want a great future for us, Khristine.” Ricky isn’t perfect, but he sure is right for me and that’s all I need to know and to remember.
Ricky is perfect for me, the right guy who truly makes me happy and who truly makes me laugh.
Maybe that break up we had is what we needed. We needed to realize our mistakes, what we needed to work on, why we are together and most of all, we realized how significant we are for each other. When we were apart, we really couldn’t break away. We just can’t. I guess it’s what you call… love. Love that endures.
P.S. Thanks Fawn for posting stuff that speaks the truth and that hits a person’s heart right on the spot! Keep posting more 🙂 You’re a great inspiration 🙂