I don’t typically imagine getting myself in a wedding gown. I don’t day dream that much about it unlike some girls I’ve seen who have planned everything down to a T- even when there’s no ring and groom to make it all possible yet. I only imagined being in a marriage and doing what married couples do… but to plan a wedding? I mean, every girl thinks it’s the ribbon to the perfect happily ever after love story, but it hasn’t occurred to me that much until recently.
A former classmate of mine who dropped out of nursing class, Marta, is pregnant. It was a surprise to me because a gal like her, who only dreamed of getting married with a rich man and who didn’t seem committed, is pregnant with her new beau. Apparently, they are head over heels to each other and I’m very surprised, yet happy to know that everything’s turning out great for her.
ME: “So, when’s the baby shower?”
Marta: “The baby shower is far away. I am only 4 weeks. The wedding in a few months- before the baby is born.”
ME: “Congrats! How’s you and your man?”
Marta: “Oh we are gooooood! Each day gets better, he is ecstatic. He is all about the baby and its so cute how he talks to the doctors and is concerned haha.”
Then, she went on and asked me this big question:
“How about your wedding?”
My wedding? She wasn’t the first person who’ve asked me that question, as a matter of fact, it has been asked and sometimes in a different way. I’ve managed to suppress it and found it quite flattering, but when I think about it… there’s a few people who’ve asked me or Ricky that question before.
Like… Ricky’s professor when we attended his graduation- recognition ceremony. They asked if I was his wife, to their disappointment, I wasn’t, then they asked excitingly, “So… when’s the wedding?!”
In another situation, Ricky and I have been going to the same Pho (Vietnamanese) Restaurant for the past few months and sitting on the same table by the window, when a waitress who managed to give me hair advice asked if we were a married couple.
It doesn’t bother me that people ask that question, but it’s mind boggling that I look that old to be married or to be at least ready to wed. I’ve always thought:
I’m only 22. I’m too young to get married! Why are people thinking I’m married or that I’m in the age where I’m ready to walk down the aisle? Am I starting to have wrinkles? Do I look old?! For goodness sakes, I haven’t even moved out of my parent’s house! Let alone, have a job or even have my own place. Marriage? Hah! That’s crazy.
I plan to marry when I’m 26 or so. I know I’m not stable financially and emotionally to get married, not now, maybe later. I mean… I’m not saying that I’m not ready to marry Ricky. It’s just that… it’s too early for us and I’m sure he feels the same way. We’ve only been dating for 9 months and I think it’ll do justice to wait for 2 more years until we get married so we can have an idea for what we truly feel for each other.
But… I can’t say I haven’t been having small dreamy imaginations of my wedding with Ricky or with whoever I marry.
I was looking for a song to enliven my day. I came across this song and found a comment that said,
This will be the first dance at my wedding someday –pearlkindofgirl
I played it and I started imagining …
Oh it’s crazy. I might not even get married, you know?