Day 20: [Censored]

[Image taken from Che Magazine”

Today’s post is probably one of the most scandalous thing you’ll ever read from me.

I don’t know why I’m publishing this. It’s probably because I have this urge, this desire of wanting to know someone’s opinion other than Ricky’s. I want to know someone’s perspective on this, besides someone I know. I want to know if I’m alright… in the head.

Well, you see, I’m quite a freak in bed. Despite my angelic face and my almost innocent appearance, I am a sex beast inside.I hate to admit it, but I love sex so much. It’s like my addiction. If I don’t get it, I get really, really…. REALLY pissed off.

Anyways, my freakiness doesn’t involve so much about, you know the usual, whips, chains and hand cuffs. Rather, I’m more into role playing. I’ve got a clear and vivid imagination you see… it goes so well with having to hit that climax. The type of role play I love doesn’t involve the cliche doctor- nurse or student-teacher affair. It goes way beyond than that. It goes way freakier and a lot more … stranger.

Okay, so, what I’m about to say is that I’m a freak and I only get to be this freak, sex-craved woman when I’m in bed; but not when I’m not horny. Therefore, don’t judge me! I know you all out there have weird fetishes and weird sex preferences, but for me, it’s kind of way out of this world.

Alright. Let me get straight to the point. Are you ready? Hold your breath.

When I’m about to have sex with Ricky, I usually ask him questions about his ex- girlfriends, the girls he had sex with in the past or the girls he finds cute in his classes. Eventually, when we started taking off our clothes, when he starts stroking my insides and I, starts to play with his manhood, I suddenly ask him about the girl, whoever we talked about earlier, and incorporate her in our love scene.

ME: “So… baby, tell me about Morgan. Did you like it when she was on top of you?”

Ricky: “Why are we talking about her….? Is this a trap?”

ME: “Come on babe… it’s okay. Let’s pretend I’m her? Hmmm?”

Ricky: “What… that’s weird.”

Then I would suddenly push him on my side and jump on top of him. I usually like to whisper in his ears and start asking him questions…

ME: “So… did you ever went down on her?”

Ricky: “I can’t believe you’re asking questions about her.”

ME: “Well, did you? I promise I won’t be mad.”

Ricky: “Fine. Yes, I did go down on her.”

ME: “Did she liked it?”

Ricky: “Yeah… she was moaning.”

ME: “Who would you like to fuck right now?”

Ricky: “Umm…you, Khristine.”

ME: “No… say you want to fuck Morgan.”

Ricky: [sighs] “Okay… I want to fuck Morgan.”

Then I would ride him harder and moan a little louder.

ME: “Say my name…”

Ricky: “Morgan. I want to fuck you, Morgan… I want to pound you so hard.”

It makes me so excited. It makes me want to go on climax when he starts speaking of a girl’s name, other than mine. In that moment of being on top of him, my mind vividly pictures Ricky and Morgan or whoever girl it is… naked in his bed and having sex. It makes me excited and despite how Ricky must have felt, he plays along with me and eventually hits climax early. So I guess he likes it and he won’t ever admit it.

There was another time when I made him watch porn. Well, it all started when he asked me a question that he hoped did not offend me. He puts me in this scenario wherein he is failing this class and he needs to pass it or else he’ll lose his scholarship. He then asks his professor for an extra credit and his professor agreed to give him a letter grade of “B” if he agrees to have sex with her. As a girlfriend, would I approve of that? In my head, it sounds hot, but he is still my boyfriend. I wasn’t horny at that time so I was rational to think that he needs to report that professor because obviously, he could have gotten an extra credit relating to school work.

Anyways, I didn’t let that question go. That night, I made him watch porn about a teacher challenging a student to have sex with her in exchange for an ‘A’. I thought the video was horrible since the teacher sounded like a slutty- bitch- gone- psycho when she kept talking about how she wants to get fucked in the ass so hard. Frankly, it didn’t turn me on until… Ricky decided to take off his pants and started jerking- right next to me.

ME: “You’re horny to this?”

Ricky: “Umm…yeah…”

I was looking at him and he was deeply concentrated on the girl’s triple -sized, enlarged, fake boobs and her vagina getting rammed on while he was occupied stroking his penis.

ME: “So you find her hot?”

Ricky: “Umm… yeah, she’s got nice breasts…”

ME: “Okay… alright, I’ll just sleep then.”

Ricky: “Okay honey bun, you do that.”

I felt a slight pang of jealousy but instead of screaming in the room, my horny button turned itself on in my head. From the way it was going, it looks like he was going to explode any moment, so before I let that happen, I took off my clothes and jumped on him. He was so shocked and I managed to turn the atmosphere as if he was in the room alone with the girl.

ME: “What’s her name?”

Ricky: “Uhh…err… Mrs. Peterson.”

Hmmm… Mrs? He even thought of having an affair with a married woman?

ME: “What are you doing to her?”

Ricky: “Pounding her pussy and sucking her tities.”

ME: “Would you tell me if you ended up fucking her?”

Ricky: “No… I won’t.”

He looked at me and my body and I tell him to look at hers. Then by the time I’m halfway to finally hitting a climax, he was close to finish.

You’re probably wondering… WTF.

I’m messed up for wanting my boyfriend to cheat on me and for even encouraging him to do that. Of course, like I said earlier, that’s all role playing, hopefully! I did mention to him before, that the idea of him cheating on me is hot in bed while we are doing it, but to know that he’s cheating on me with an actual girl is a definite break up.

Ugh, I honestly don’t know where this came from. Probably it’s because I’ve been cheated on with my first boyfriend who took my virginity? I saw him and his mistress getting out of the shower and it was quite traumatic. I don’t know the psychology behind this, but I’m finding it weird and downright outrageous.

Ugh… can someone shed me some light into this? What do you think?

4 thoughts on “Day 20: [Censored]

  1. Even pretending to be someone else can create the opportunity (or thrill) in feeling that you are better than them in which ever circumstance you’re in. It’s more so, while he’s thinking of her you derail his ambitions in actually developing sexual or emotional connections with her by presenting him with a better her in you.

    Of course that’s an assumption… you could just enjoy role playing but don’t forget to play your role as well whenever you can so he doesn’t forget who he is with.


    -Inked Pen

  2. Hmmm… I really like your perspective. It makes so much sense to me. I guess I was also wondering on what’s the take of the opposite sex on this. I do feel quite dominant with the other girls as if I’m so much better than them and at the same time, I was hoping that it’s a way of spicing things up a bit rather than sticking to usuals. Hopefully, though, it would make him feel as if I’m better than them.

    But yes, certainly, I make it a point that those role playing scenarios only happen on rare occasions. I don’t want it to be a routine as it might backfire.

    Anyways, thanks for reading! 😀

  3. Well, I get turned on to things I would never like to do so I guess it’s normal. From what you wrote, he seemed kind of shocked when you started asking him about his ex while foreplay, out of blue. Maybe you should talk to him about it and you could tell each other what you like in bed, but making him imagine ex girlfriend may be dangerous. Who knows if oneday he won’t really decide to fuck her? Pretending is cool sometimes, but maybe you should try something impersonal, something including roles of people who don’t exist (erotic version of your favorite movie for example).

    • I find it “fun” and strangely “exciting” to imagine him having sex with another girl. However, at the same time, I do feel utterly jealous afterwards. I think you’re also right. I shouldn’t rely on these fantasies as they might become a reality. I’m thinking of perhaps role playing differently… involving whips and chains lol I’m kidding. But yes, I do agree with you… to role play roles without bringing up the past.

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