Day 18: Dream a little dream of Ricky

I am missing Ricky so much.

It doesn’t hurt to miss him, in fact, it makes me think of better and bigger things other than butterflies and fairy tale romances with him…

How do I say it without ever jinxing it? Oh… well, I’ve said it so many times. We have said it several times, actually. It wouldn’t hurt to dream. I just hope that our dreams would come true:

I want to marry Ricky someday.

I don’t care about how our wedding is going to be like-

if it’s less perfect or not.

All I want is to wake up right next to Ricky every morning- in our own bed.

I want to have his kids.

I want a boy running around our house and he’s got Ricky’s chocolate eyes-

with his curious look that always wants to know everything.

I want to have a baby girl to be our little star who brightens up our home.

I want to continue a journey with Ricky, longer than the ones I’ve taken before.

I want to go through the pain, happiness and our successes together.

I want to fill our relationship with so much laughter even if life throws us out of balance.

I want to make him happy and be there when he needed me the most.

I want our love to teach our children a lesson: I want them to believe in the joys of cherishing a relationship based on selfless love, an open communication, an unyielding patience, accepting each other wholeheartedly, and in respecting and keeping each other’s own identity.

I want to wake up one morning and see the man I’ve chosen to spend my life with:

Withered in his own skin, yet still handsome as I remember him to be.

I want to be with Ricky beyond the physical attraction,

beyond the short-lived infatuation,

beyond what life throws at us.

I love Ricky so much that it feels like it’s getting harder every day to imagine a life without him or even losing him. As we become more closer and as we grow more fonder of each other intimately, it is becoming difficult to break away. It’s not a bad thing, but I like that it doesn’t scare me, but it makes me want to fall so hard with him, because I know and I trust that he and I have something special, something different and something to look forward to.

Life may not give us what we hope for,

but it’s this moment that made me cherish-

more of what Ricky has made me feel and of what he tried so very hard to share with me:

his selfless love.

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