Day 14: Why, hello there, my old friend.

The other day, I was endlessly ranting on and on about how depressing it was for me to find a girl buddy. It seemed impossible at that time. Maybe it was because I wanted to find one rather than, acknowledge what I have. Ricky has told me a billion times,

“Things won’t come to you if you expect them to. Don’t look for them, let all things happen the way they should.”

Rather than joining a meet-up interest group with strangers, I turned to my old and dusty, contact list and phoned (as in sent a text message) to a few old girl friends from high school. It has been years since I’ve talked to them and it sure was awkward to suddenly arrange an out-of-the blue dinner date. But, I was highly desperate and so I took the bullet. What do I have to lose anyway?

Last Tuesday, I went to a pizza place with a Vietnamese friend of mine, Ngoc (pronounced as if to”knock”). I haven’t talked to her in two years and I admittedly sort of ignored her in some cases because she was rather… too hyper for me. I remember how she would rant about something, jump onto the next topic and I couldn’t quite figure out the relevance of both topics and of what she meant, because by the time she finished her sentence, I felt exhausted like a Persian rug, hanging on a balcony to dry, and was batted on too long and too much by a baseball bat. Whenever I talk, I find her either looking away or chipping off the remains of her nail polish or she’d mention about some random crap she just saw in her surroundings. She demonstrated, right there what I hated the most… If I’m talking to someone, face-to-face, with the exception of he or she is driving or sitting next to me, that I expect him or her to look me straight in the eye or pay attention, or I will jump into a conclusion that my ranting is pointless because no one is listening. Despite her imperfection, I began analyzing her in our dinner get-together: she’s just the typical girl that rants on and on and I wasn’t quite used to that, or I do that to my guy friends and I don’t seem to notice that I do it too. Regardless of Ngoc’s obnoxious side, she was able to point out a few facts about friendship, our achievements and about myself.

I wouldn’t go into too much detail because there was too many to talk about.

But from what I got from her is that she was also struggling to find a genuine girl-friend. She, too, find it easier to bond with guys because in her opinion,

“Guys are real, they aren’t insecure unlike most girls. Their brains are simpler and ours is so much complex. They are reasonable, logical and they see the bigger picture than us girls who are the opposite: we tend to rely on our emotions and we think too much on the smallest details.”

She also emphasized that girl-groups aren’t what they seem to be.

“It’s hard to find a genuine girl friend. Sure, there are a few girls that you’ll meet, but give it 6 months, they either disappeared or replaced by someone new. It bothers me that competition plays a role too. If they find you a threat to the opposite sex because you’re pretty or confident, they either use you or they hate you. There are so many fake girls out there and you have to watch out.”

I love that about Ngoc. She voiced out her opinion and I needed to hear that from her. She wasn’t there when I was hated on or used by previous so-called girl friends, but she clarified everything with a reasonable truth and she knew about it because she had experienced it as well. That invisible connection we had woke me up. We totally related with each other!

I know Ngoc isn’t perfect, but she do rant bluntly, sometimes what she means is irrelevant, but somehow, I know she could be trusted. She was there for me when I was dating my ex-boyfriend, Dave, she saw him as a “poison” to my life when I was completely blind. She pointed the obvious and I was hesitant to see it. She comforted me when my ex- boyfriend, Beppe, left for Italy. She was in my high school graduation and she recognized my recent nursing graduation far more than any of my friends. I felt that she was there for me than I was for her. I feel so selfish, blind and ungrateful. Here I was, wanting to find a genuine friend when Ngoc was sitting right in front of my nose all this time.

I wanted to promise Ngoc that we would hang out again, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to tell her, rather, I wanted to show her.

I’m hanging out with her this Saturday, hopefully, she can take the wild side of me that she has never seen before.

Or maybe… we’ll just talk more which is fine with me! 😀


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