Day 28: I want a baby.

I’m 21 years old turning 22 in May. I’m sexually active, I’m a nursing student, and I’m still living at home with my parents. I want a baby. It seems that people, my age, are either getting married or having kids, by accident. But I still want a baby. However…

You’re probably thinking, I’m still young and yada yada yada. I’ll stop you there, I don’t need another lecture. I know I’m not stable to have a baby, but I like the idea of wanting to have a baby and everything that comes along with it. Last year, I didn’t like the idea of having babies or to even to start a family. I liked how my life was: going on dates, meeting and dating guys seasonally, shopping for my own benefit, and living in the present with no plans. Within that year, I changed slowly but surely. I thought of my career, my plans, my life, and that particular, ideal someone I’d like to spend forever with. The idea of starting a family was nowhere in sight until Ricky and I became intimate.

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It seems like having a child signifies that it’s the end of one’s single hood. But really, having a kid is simply the most beautiful thing. It changes you even if you only imagine yourself carrying a baby in your arms. I like the idea of having to carry a child in my bosom, though weight bearing for 9 months, it’s such an incredible thing. It’s amazing to hold onto the idea that a child will inherit some of my physical and mental attributes as well as having to bear that child until he or she grows up. It’s a strenuous task to raise a child, but what’s so beautiful about it is that it came from me and the person I promised forever with.

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And maybe, Ricky inspired me to hope again. I often find myself imagining him stooping down to one knee and pulling out an engagement ring to place it on my bare finger. I see myself walking down with my dad on the aisle while my eyes are glued onto Ricky. I imagine myself caressing on my baby bump while I looked in front of the mirror. I pictured myself holding a baby and Ricky is sitting right next to me. I also imagined how Ricky and I would be dealing with our rebellious teenage kids. I imagine our little baby that was once in our arms is now off to college and soon, he or she will graduating. Finally, I picture myself having grandkids spending time with Ricky while I help my children how to serve a meaningful Thanksgiving dinner. It’s truly remarkable how life is… all of these may not turn out how I want it to be in the future, but I still want to start my own family even if it doesn’t always have a perfect icing on the cake. I don’t want to grow old alone.

For now, I like the idea of wanting to have a child, the idea of getting married to Ricky and the idea of spending my forever with him and my family.

That’s my lifetime goal. What’s yours?


5 thoughts on “Day 28: I want a baby.

  1. I think I am in the minority of guys that actually are looking forward to having a family. I think I romanticize the idea of getting married and having kids. Like all of life’s problems will be okay if I just start a family.

    The crappy thing is I feel like I am nowhere near the day that will happen. :/

    • You’re nowhere near that day, but eventually, it will happen. Not now, but someday. You just need to wait for the right girl to come. For now, you should be enjoying your bachelor life! 😀 When you least expect it, a girl will come along- who will captivate you and will inspire you to start a future with.

  2. I love this! and I love that you are smart enough to understand you’re not there yet, but it’s so good to look forward to something, and have something to work towards!
    Kids are amazing.. I’m a 23 year old mom, and did things all ass backwards, and sometimes wish I had THOUGHT ahead.. but I’m also happy.. and I still have so many personal goals, that may be a little harder to achieve now, but still exciting.
    Good luck with your future.. it’s so exciting to BE excited for it!

    • Having kids must be amazing! Even if you did things backwards, I bet you wouldn’t trade your kids for anything. Everything happens for a reason and we’ll see how everything goes but somehow everything do come out the way we want them to be… not ideally but sometimes better. I hope that having kids won’t stop you from achieving your goals! Let them be your inspiration 😀

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