I’m 21 years old turning 22 in May. I’m sexually active, I’m a nursing student, and I’m still living at home with my parents. I want a baby. It seems that people, my age, are either getting married or having kids, by accident. But I still want a baby. However…
You’re probably thinking, I’m still young and yada yada yada. I’ll stop you there, I don’t need another lecture. I know I’m not stable to have a baby, but I like the idea of wanting to have a baby and everything that comes along with it. Last year, I didn’t like the idea of having babies or to even to start a family. I liked how my life was: going on dates, meeting and dating guys seasonally, shopping for my own benefit, and living in the present with no plans. Within that year, I changed slowly but surely. I thought of my career, my plans, my life, and that particular, ideal someone I’d like to spend forever with. The idea of starting a family was nowhere in sight until Ricky and I became intimate.
It seems like having a child signifies that it’s the end of one’s single hood. But really, having a kid is simply the most beautiful thing. It changes you even if you only imagine yourself carrying a baby in your arms. I like the idea of having to carry a child in my bosom, though weight bearing for 9 months, it’s such an incredible thing. It’s amazing to hold onto the idea that a child will inherit some of my physical and mental attributes as well as having to bear that child until he or she grows up. It’s a strenuous task to raise a child, but what’s so beautiful about it is that it came from me and the person I promised forever with.
And maybe, Ricky inspired me to hope again. I often find myself imagining him stooping down to one knee and pulling out an engagement ring to place it on my bare finger. I see myself walking down with my dad on the aisle while my eyes are glued onto Ricky. I imagine myself caressing on my baby bump while I looked in front of the mirror. I pictured myself holding a baby and Ricky is sitting right next to me. I also imagined how Ricky and I would be dealing with our rebellious teenage kids. I imagine our little baby that was once in our arms is now off to college and soon, he or she will graduating. Finally, I picture myself having grandkids spending time with Ricky while I help my children how to serve a meaningful Thanksgiving dinner. It’s truly remarkable how life is… all of these may not turn out how I want it to be in the future, but I still want to start my own family even if it doesn’t always have a perfect icing on the cake. I don’t want to grow old alone.
For now, I like the idea of wanting to have a child, the idea of getting married to Ricky and the idea of spending my forever with him and my family.
That’s my lifetime goal. What’s yours?