Day 21: First sign of being in love: You’re distracted.

College students are out to enjoy their winter break. Some travel to warmer places like Las Vegas or California and some stayed home.Ricky, my best friend whom I have a crush on, is out in the west coast enjoying his sweet -ass time with his old-time, high school buddies. In the meantime, I stayed home and I’m attending nursing classes since it’s a vocational program and we don’t get vacations like college students do. Ricky wanted to be in Vegas because he said it was their reunion and he’s been waiting for that trip since November. I’m quite jealous and I’m definitely missing him too much… it’s THAT awful! However,

While Ricky is gone and I’m spending some alone time with myself, I’ve become quite progressive with my work-out routines. I’m back in the treadmill and I’m back to eating oatmeal, as well as restricting carbonated beverages. I guess while he’s gone, this is the time for me to concentrate on myself. Haha… it’s not like we’re together, but it feels like we are. I miss him.

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In the meantime, old exes and interested guys are trying to get a hold of me. My Italian ex-boyfriend, Giuseppe, tried calling me from Italy yesterday while I was in class. Normally, I would call him back, but this time, I don’t care as much. I don’t know, after a year-long of trying to move on from our break-up, I think I’m finally stepping out. I was very much in love with him because he was the first guy to ever sweep me off my feet, but I feel quite disenchanted of him, because of the thought that he’s not as significant as before. His part in my story is done. Well, as of right now, yes. 

Some guys never understand the word “NO.” Phil, who is a fling I had late in summer (see Characters Tab at the top), has been trying to call and text me to hang out. I told him I’m busy. Quite frankly, I’m not interested. It seems like I’m the guy who had a fling and he’s the girl who wants to have a relationship after that one-night stand. Seriously, if I don’t pick up my phone when he calls and I give excuses that I’m busy, isn’t that quite obvious?! I’m NOT interested. However, I’ve been thinking, maybe he can’t read it clearly and I should  bluntly tell him to fuck off. 

You must be wondering, why are you being such a bitch to these guys? These are good-looking guys that ranges around 8-10 and you’re rejecting their attention? Who do you think you are? Simple answer: Ricky’s in my mind. It seems that I’m missing him too much that I’m ignoring the fact that I’m still single and free to mingle. But what if I’m so in love to Ricky that I am not interested to see other men.

Ricky’s been in my head and it’s interrupting my studies. I’ve noticed that I have been quite disengaged in class when I’m usually the certain one in class to answer every question that the teacher asks. I’m losing my grip on school work when typically, I’m enthusiastic. I feel like when Ricky’s not around, I am distracted and I feel as though something HUGE is missing in my life.

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When Ricky’s not around, he’s more distracting than when he’s studying right next to me.

When you’re in love, you don’t seem to look at anybody else, but your significant other.


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