If you haven’t read my old posts in my blog, I will give you a short summary of my love life: almost all of my relationships last for a maximum of 3 months. I didn’t intend it that way, but it happens. Every season, I had a new boyfriend, so you can imagine how my life was: an emotional roller coaster. Again, as I have said before, I have been single for almost two months now and I would like to keep it that way. I decided to remain single for a year, since I have been in relationships all throughout this year. However…
Since I don’t smoke, I don’t drink as much and I don’t do any drugs, I can’t say that I’m not addicted to anything. It seems that from looking back on my failed relationships, it looked as if I’ve been addicted to meeting new guys and in keeping a girlfriend status. I can’t let it go no matter how much I’ve tried, because I know that guys will always come around the corner. And indeed… they have.
For the benefit of those who have read and those who have not been keeping up with my blog, I will have to admit that I have about 4 boyfriends in the previous year. Okay, I know, it hasn’t been that much but if you think about it:
1 year= 4 seasons.
1 season= 3 months.
1 boyfriend= 3 months duration = 1 season
1 year= 4 boyfriends.
Do you see what I mean? I didn’t take a break after those break-ups. I rushed into a relationship every time I meet a guy and I never hesitated every time they ask me the question, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I always said, yes.
And now, as you can imagine, I haven’t had a boyfriend and I haven’t had sex for two months. I always had the rule, “I will not have sex with a guy who isn’t my boyfriend.” Guess what? all the guys I wanted to have sex with, ended up being my boyfriend. That’s quite twisted isn’t it?
But as you can see, every drug addict who wants to quit, will always have withdrawal symptoms. Since I’m a relationship addict, I am going through a withdrawal.
I met a Romanian guy who’s named, surprisingly the same as one of my ex, “Dumitry,” through one of my classmates. He and I have been seeing each other for the past two weeks and we haven’t actually done anything besides the movies and the occasional flirting. Well, on one night, we were slightly both intoxicated and we made out, then went to second base. However, we haven’t done much after that because our schedules have been packed. You have no idea how much I’ve controlled my sexual craving on that night when we both started getting really intimate. I simply love sex and I wanted him so badly.
But it was too soon so I pulled back.
However, thank God for time, for space and for our own priorities, I didn’t go out of my way to see him for no reason. I wanted to keep it less intimate and less “clingy.” But I need to stop or else I might rush into something that I’m not capable of handling yet. I need to step beside and see what happens.
I CAN’T RUSH IN WHEN I’M NOT READY.
This is seriously bad, I need help.
Is there such a thing as relationship rehab?