“So are there any big news? Big occasions at all that happened?” I can sense Beppe waiting for the words that I have been dreading to let out.
“Um…well, there’s one. I…er… I’m seeing someone now.” I closed my eyes hoping the world would end in that very moment.
I did promise him that I would tell him first if I found someone else. He saw my “in-relationship” status in Facebook and the infamous pictures of Dimitry and I from New Year’s eve dinner date. The reason why I didn’t tell him and called him about the news because… it’s not something I’m proud to show off to Beppe. I mean, I should I guess, but I just didn’t want to say anything.
Of course, some part of me still loves and wants Beppe back, but I’m tired of crying and suffering. I did my part to mourn over our relationship. Some part of me thought it was unfair that I seem to be the one who was crazy about the relationship more than him. I mean… before he left for Italy, he went to Cali with his friend and I was left in Virginia, mourning over the “break-up” for sleepless nights while he was having a time of his life.
And what if I had the bravery to tell Beppe about the news, what would I say? I still love Beppe but why am I with Dimitry?
There are these words of Beppe that kept on repeating in my head like a broken record:
“I can’t wait for you. I can’t wait for two years because we never know what will happen. What if I lose you forever? I told you what I’ve experienced about long-distance relationships before… You have plans to settle down, but I just want to survive.”
He didn’t want to wait. He wanted to let go and let fate decide. Yeah, if fate does exist.
In the otherhand, since Dimitry is from the Army (Infantry), he isn’t far off from getting deployed for a good long year. I told him, “I don’t think I’ll be willing to wait for you that long.”
“Okay… then I won’t require you to wait for me for that long.”
Then I paused and wondered,
“What if I am willing though, would you be willing to wait as well?”
“I will be willing too, of course. It will be tough, but I’m up for it.”
Two years, a year, so what? What’s the difference?
Dimitry’s life is on the line and yet he is willing to wait.
Beppe is still exploring life at its fullest yet he isn’t willing to wait.
Would you rather wait for someone, whom you barely love, but is willing to wait for you? or would you rather wait for someone you love, but who isn’t willing to wait?
Before Beppe disappeared from the other line, he paused and said, “Tell Dimitry that he is one lucky guy.”