I can’t keep myself from avoiding the winds of change. Eventually, I have to jump and eventually, I have to give out chances.
When Beppe left me, I became aloof and disenchanted by the idea that I will never meet a guy so gracious and perfect like him. I shunned myself from the world and became skeptical of ever finding a stable relationship. Mr. Nit Picky came along and I began to think that maybe he could heal me. I thought maybe he can convince me that I won’t be jumping out of relationships every three months, but I was wrong. He became my fall-fling.
Dimitry appeared randomly in my life just like the previous guys who came knocking on my door. He’s a year younger, but more mature than Mr. Nit Picky, who was the same age as me. Probably one of the reasons why Dimitry is overly mature and open-minded, it’s because he’s in the army. Regardless of what he does, he seemed more determined and straightforward of what he wants and I find that really attractive.
Dimitry and I have been going out on dates for a month now and we have been taking things slow. However, he seemed persistent and more certain than me, that he wants to be in a stable relationship. I find him partially attractive probably because he somewhat resembles D, my 3- year ex-boyfriend, but more appealing and goal-oriented. There is, of course, a pet-peeve that I cannot ignore: his feet reeks and he needs to shower (also a quality that D had when I was dating him. I can’t believe I tolerated that for 3 years!) But no matter, strangely enough, I told him the truth and he promises to take a shower every single day.
When I compare Dimitry to Mr. Nit- Picky, who’s a metro-sexual and who smells incredibly nice, my superficial insights wanted to drop Dimitry. But that’s just wrong. My girlfriends suggest that I give a chance to this young, lonely and responsible jarhead. Dimitry’s willing to change and according to him, he wanted to start a “new life” and maybe seeing me could be of “something different than his previous experiences.”
It may be a new beginning for Dimitry, but it certainly sounds like it is for me as well. I need to give people chances and to start letting people in. I cannot simply wait for Beppe. What if he never comes back and I wasted my time from waiting and never gave chances to guys who might be more suitable for me?
Life changes for the worst to become better. Letting go of Beppe was the worst feeling in the universe but it might be reserved for the next best-est thing.