Lost and Found: My Friends.




I just realized that the isolation I was asking for has been granted. But I didn’t expect that total isolation meant completely losing all the friends I thought I would have in the process.

I feel really alone right now: completely and utterly alone. I had friends, but I completely isolated myself to the point that it meant erasing myself in the picture. And now that I feel like I wanted to be somewhere, enjoying life, I don’t have anyone around me.

I do have a best friend, but at the moment, she’s taken. She’s absorbed to her new lovey -dovey and I can’t blame her for that. I’ve isolated myself from her when I was with Beppe and she has every right to spend time with her new boyfriend. Karma bites, I know.

So … one moment I was on top of the world and within the blink of an eye, I hit rock-bottom.

Having a hectic schedule doesn’t help either. I purposely made it that way to isolate myself from dating and from drama, but now I regret it; well, not the prohibited dating part. I miss my friends so much. They aren’t asking me if I’m available to hang out anymore, because they all automatically know that “Khristine is busy.” What a pity.

I’m depressed. I’ve been smoking a lot lately and I’m trying my hardest not to get addicted to it, though it’s hard. It feels like it’s the only thing that makes me happy right now.

I’m in the darkest part of my life and I wanted it to spin now. Where’s the light switch? How do I end this misery? Again, I need an answer.

Am I going to be miserable like this for the rest of the cold season?


4 thoughts on “Lost and Found: My Friends.

  1. I often think the same thing. Maybe you should just try contacting people and arranging to do something. Show them you’re not too busy for them and that you miss them. Maybe.

    I dunno…I’m no good at this stuff. Just keep in mind that thanks to the magic of the interweb, you don’t have to feel alone!

    • I think you are exactly right! Get in touch with your friends. Reconnect with them. I find that every once in a while I will sway to one group of friends more than the other, but I always find my way back once in a while.

      Recently, I asked a friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in a long time to dinner. It was great to catch up with her, confide in her and hear all the things that are going on in her life. Plus, it brings you closer together!

      Baby steps, and you’ll get there. 😀

    • Yeah… I think it’s best to contact them and show them that I’m available. I decided to hand them each a copy of my available hours. Not really, but I’m considering on doing that.

  2. You should totally reconnect with your friends, show them you;re available, spend a little time with them, have fun.
    And smoking is really not the answer.

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